Ci muoviamo come sfere su un abaco e quando troviamo la combinazione giusta allora facciamo i conti con noi stessi.
Il pericolo latente che veglia le notti insonni di un poliziotto ha un suo nome e un suo perché…
L’hai mai vista quella soffitta piena di ricordi?
“ Se non mettiamo ordine qualcuno tornerà ogni notte nella tua mente a dirti che è meglio farla finita e il disordine nella soffitta ti soffocherà” – gli disse con tono fermo e appena austero.
Dai racconti avventurosi alle pieghe più sottili, dagli amori burrascosi alle solitudini più ostili… Davide guardava il suo riflesso nello specchio e ne cercava il senso mentre indossava la sua divisa con rispetto, tentando di mettere a tacere pensieri e ossessioni.
“Di che fine dovrò finire?” – le chiese mentre in lontananza giungeva la eco di un vociare cittadino.
E’ definito burnout ma di fatto è un disagio di alienazione da se stessi e Davide ne era chiaramente affetto.
“Lasciami stare, sono solo un vecchio diavolo!” – continuava a ripeterle in maniera quasi compulsiva…
“Io non ti abbandonerò, ma tu ti devi far aiutare, ti devi liberare di tutto il marcio che hai assorbito in tanti anni, non devi permettere che ti divori! Non voglio vederti lentamente morire…e non voglio nemmeno che tu scelga di finire. Ci sarò sempre, io ci sarò sempre, come la fatina sempre fu per Pinocchio, quindi leggimi quando ti scrivo e ogni tanto dimmi solo che stai bene.” – erano le parole ferme e accorate di chi conosce il male invisibile che lacera e deturpa un uomo, Davide, che in un luogo nascosto della sua anima aveva ancora voglia di sognare e soltanto con lei riusciva ancora a farlo.

E’ necessario tenere in vita una fiammella sotto il ceppo di legno divenuto cenere: sono molte le anime sensibili stuprate dal cinismo e dall’assenza di gesti di amore, in questo tempo che siamo chiamati a dipingere con le nostre scelte che, eroiche o no, lasceranno una traccia di noi.
Laddove ovunque Davide vedeva porte chiuse dagli affetti, dai colleghi per i quali un minimo cenno di cedimento era visto e raccontato alle sue spalle come debolezza sulla quale scambiare qualche pettegolezzo, allo stesso modo la vita, seppur buia e bastarda, faceva entrare spiragli di luce che dovevano essere seguiti se voleva mettere ordine nella sua soffitta…
Davide è un uomo tormentato e accompagneremo i suoi pensieri più intimi, quelli che rimbalzano nella sua mente e che avrebbero già risolto ogni conflitto con uno sparo se a tentare di sciogliere i suoi nodi non ci fosse stata Lei, se a tenere viva la fiammella della vita non ci fosse stata Lei…
“Non sei solo Davide! Adesso ci sono io! Leggimi… portami tra le pieghe della tua anima assetata di riposo. Mi troverai qui.” – gli sussurrò con voce angelica e fu un amorevole colpo al cuore che ripara e cura.
Daniela Schiarini
*continuerà…
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